The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for porn caterwauling) bokeh to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and crot declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or bokep sex worker.

Now, bokep according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, porn it all makes scientific porn sense. It confirms what porn most women know and bokep all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s sex as performance art, crot and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokeh when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and memek is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, memek she’s far more likely bokep to gently sigh and bokeh moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian bokep hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, porn female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, porn bokep while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, bokeh and memek that women were memek prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, porn the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin’ move memek on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals memek better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling crot drowned memek out their TVs: bokep ‘As far as I’m concerned, crot that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, bokeh only if you want to attract bokeh a certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were bokeh noisy during sex – based crot on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and bokeh keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand porn the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should bokep take heed: bokep the memek best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris